When I was growing up, I was highly discouraged from getting dirty or wet when I played. I don't ever remember using paint until Kindergarten, and the thought of purposefully jumping in puddles made me shudder.
I don't tell this for the sake of having a pity party. I tell this because it helps me understand why it's sometimes hard for me to let the kids make a mess. I have to consciously let my kids get dirty and wet during play. Whether it be water, dirt, mud, paint or markers, I have to let them. It's the way kids learn best. This I know, even if it wasn't my own experience.
Making a mess is not something that comes naturally to me. It's taking a lot of retraining on my part. I can't tell you the number of times I've had to stop myself from saying: "Don't do that! You'll get wet/messy/etc". The truth is, most kids don't mind getting messy. It's mostly because of disapproving adults that children begin to think that dirty equals bad.
Playgrounds are a prime example. Small puddles of water are at the end of each slide in the morning, and the sandbox is a little muddy. Rosie went down a slide, got her bottom wet, and looked at me questioningly. Instead of the old me, who would have been annoyed and bothered, I said "It's alright, honey. We have extra clothes in the car." She smiled and went on her way, not bothered at all with wet pants.
Buddy was digging in the sandbox, and he was dumping some of the pails that had rain water in them directly onto his shoes. This surely would have bothered me a few years ago. Now? I knew they'd dry in the sun that afternoon. I've had to tell myself over and over that there is nothing wrong with them getting dirty. Change the outfit when they're done playing. Don't dress them in something you wouldn't want to get dirty. Carry extra clothes in the car at all times.
It's pretty simple.
One last step that I still forget sometimes- I have to dress for play, too. When I know we're going to use paint, or be outdoors, I need to wear clothes that I don't care terribly about, so I don't have to be "afraid" of getting dirty, either. I do these things because I don't want my kids to think dirty equals bad. I want them to think that messy equals fun, something I'm learning through them every day.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
Going to Work
"Be good for Daddy," I said first to Buddy as I kissed him on the forehead, then Rosie. "Mommy's going to work."
I can't deny it, it felt good to say it.
Not because I've missed work. Not because I think a need a job to be important.
It felt good to say it because I want to be an example to my children. I want to show them that, after 3 years of being a stay at home mom, I felt like I could do more, so I am doing more. That feeling first began two years ago when I was elected to school committee. From the get-go, I enjoyed the meetings, being a part of something and making decisions. I enjoyed getting my head out of Mommy-dom a few hours a month.
Then the newsletter editor/clerk position with the Council on Aging came up. It seemed right, and it was- I do 90% of the work from home, it doesn't take important time away from the kids and it keeps my toes in the working world.
That night that I kissed Rosie and Buddy goodbye, it was time to print my first newsletter. I got in my Focus and drove the less than 2 miles to the center of town. I parked, got my box of stuff, and headed to the door, keys in hand- the keys to my old elementary school, that now houses the town offices. I couldn't help but smile as I unlocked the door, and walked into the entrance way that seemed so big when I was a Kindergartner. I went down the hall, and unlocked yet another door- the classroom I had grades 2nd through 4th.
I was going to print, staple, label and stamp roughly 200 newsletters in the classroom I spent nearly every day in for three years. It was a future I simply couldn't have imagined!
My supervisor and another member of the COA came to help me, which I was very thankful for, as it took us a few hours with the three of us. We worked, talked and laughed. I came home feeling very satisfied.
Could I "just" be a stay at home mom? Yes. No one would question it. There's nothing wrong with "just" being or doing anything. But when you have a feeling you could tackle more? That maybe there's something out there that you would enjoy and would help you grow? It's always worth taking a shot.
I'm glad I did.
I can't deny it, it felt good to say it.
Not because I've missed work. Not because I think a need a job to be important.
It felt good to say it because I want to be an example to my children. I want to show them that, after 3 years of being a stay at home mom, I felt like I could do more, so I am doing more. That feeling first began two years ago when I was elected to school committee. From the get-go, I enjoyed the meetings, being a part of something and making decisions. I enjoyed getting my head out of Mommy-dom a few hours a month.
Then the newsletter editor/clerk position with the Council on Aging came up. It seemed right, and it was- I do 90% of the work from home, it doesn't take important time away from the kids and it keeps my toes in the working world.
That night that I kissed Rosie and Buddy goodbye, it was time to print my first newsletter. I got in my Focus and drove the less than 2 miles to the center of town. I parked, got my box of stuff, and headed to the door, keys in hand- the keys to my old elementary school, that now houses the town offices. I couldn't help but smile as I unlocked the door, and walked into the entrance way that seemed so big when I was a Kindergartner. I went down the hall, and unlocked yet another door- the classroom I had grades 2nd through 4th.
I was going to print, staple, label and stamp roughly 200 newsletters in the classroom I spent nearly every day in for three years. It was a future I simply couldn't have imagined!
My supervisor and another member of the COA came to help me, which I was very thankful for, as it took us a few hours with the three of us. We worked, talked and laughed. I came home feeling very satisfied.
Could I "just" be a stay at home mom? Yes. No one would question it. There's nothing wrong with "just" being or doing anything. But when you have a feeling you could tackle more? That maybe there's something out there that you would enjoy and would help you grow? It's always worth taking a shot.
I'm glad I did.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Less Watching, More Doing
My TV habits have changed a lot in the past few years.
When I first became a stay at home mom, I would watch shows like "Judge Judy", "The Price is Right" and "The Talk" daily. I daresay it's what helped me get through those bleak days when I was sleep deprived, adult interaction deprived and feeling a little lost.
I remember when I stopped watching as much TV- it was when Rosie really started noticing it, around 9 months old. It would put her in a zombie-like state and she would watch it forever if I let her.
I decided that wasn't happening.
So then I started saving my shows for when she napped. Then I had Buddy, and I did rely on it a little heavily at times when I needed it to occupy Rosie. As soon as we all snapped out of the 2nd newborn fog, the TV got turned on less and less.
The kids watch approximately 20 minutes during the morning when I'm getting them dressed and making breakfast, and for about 30 minutes in the afternoon after they get up from their nap. It works. It's just enough that it's still very much a "treat". There are days when it's on much more than that, and there are days when it's turned on even less than that.
I'm excited about the shows Steve and I like that will be returning in the next few weeks. It's a sure sign of Fall! Soon we'll be hunkering down each night, watching them once the kids are in bed.
I have found that for the most part now I don't watch TV during the day, even during the kids' afternoon nap. Instead, I roast the veggies for that night's dinner. I bring in the clothes, fold them, hang another load out on the line. While I do these things, I think about this little space of mine, this blog, and the things I want to write about. I email friends.
Sometimes just vegging out on the couch with the TV on is the best thing for me, if it's been a hard day. But I have found that the more productive I am, the happier I am.
Less watching, more doing. It's been good for me, physically and mentally.
When I first became a stay at home mom, I would watch shows like "Judge Judy", "The Price is Right" and "The Talk" daily. I daresay it's what helped me get through those bleak days when I was sleep deprived, adult interaction deprived and feeling a little lost.
I remember when I stopped watching as much TV- it was when Rosie really started noticing it, around 9 months old. It would put her in a zombie-like state and she would watch it forever if I let her.
I decided that wasn't happening.
So then I started saving my shows for when she napped. Then I had Buddy, and I did rely on it a little heavily at times when I needed it to occupy Rosie. As soon as we all snapped out of the 2nd newborn fog, the TV got turned on less and less.
The kids watch approximately 20 minutes during the morning when I'm getting them dressed and making breakfast, and for about 30 minutes in the afternoon after they get up from their nap. It works. It's just enough that it's still very much a "treat". There are days when it's on much more than that, and there are days when it's turned on even less than that.
I'm excited about the shows Steve and I like that will be returning in the next few weeks. It's a sure sign of Fall! Soon we'll be hunkering down each night, watching them once the kids are in bed.
I have found that for the most part now I don't watch TV during the day, even during the kids' afternoon nap. Instead, I roast the veggies for that night's dinner. I bring in the clothes, fold them, hang another load out on the line. While I do these things, I think about this little space of mine, this blog, and the things I want to write about. I email friends.
Sometimes just vegging out on the couch with the TV on is the best thing for me, if it's been a hard day. But I have found that the more productive I am, the happier I am.
Less watching, more doing. It's been good for me, physically and mentally.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
The Biggest Sap
I am the biggest sap I know.
It takes barely anything to make me cry these days. A song on the radio, a sweet exchange in a book or a movie, you name it. I have a playlist on my iPod, called "Love" where I put all the songs that remind me of Steve and the kids. "Over the Rainbow" is on it, a song I sang to both kids when I was pregnant with each, and my voice still breaks when I sing it, because I can remember how I loved them before they were even born.
I thought maybe this crying-easily-thing was a mom thing. Then I thought about it more and realized it was a little more than that.
I cry easily because I've encountered the acute pain that comes with suddenly losing someone you love deeply. I experienced that pain three times in less than a two year span, when I lost three of the most important women in my life- my mom and both my grandmothers.
I cry easily because I know I am meant to be with Steve, and 11 years later, that knowledge and my love for him still overwhelms me at times. He is my rock.
I cry easily because not once, but twice, I gave birth and witnessed the biggest miracle that there is. Every day I love my children a little more, and my heart seems to grow bigger and bigger to accommodate.
I cry easily because God made all of this possible. The births, the love, the sad goodbyes. It's easy to look the other way, spirituality-wise, when you're just going through life without too many bumps in the road. I did that myself. It's not until you experience the highest highs and the lowest lows that you can let yourself fully feel, fully experience life, and sometimes cry- not just because you're sad, not just because you're happy, but because you now know that every day counts.
It takes barely anything to make me cry these days. A song on the radio, a sweet exchange in a book or a movie, you name it. I have a playlist on my iPod, called "Love" where I put all the songs that remind me of Steve and the kids. "Over the Rainbow" is on it, a song I sang to both kids when I was pregnant with each, and my voice still breaks when I sing it, because I can remember how I loved them before they were even born.
I thought maybe this crying-easily-thing was a mom thing. Then I thought about it more and realized it was a little more than that.
I cry easily because I've encountered the acute pain that comes with suddenly losing someone you love deeply. I experienced that pain three times in less than a two year span, when I lost three of the most important women in my life- my mom and both my grandmothers.
I cry easily because I know I am meant to be with Steve, and 11 years later, that knowledge and my love for him still overwhelms me at times. He is my rock.
I cry easily because not once, but twice, I gave birth and witnessed the biggest miracle that there is. Every day I love my children a little more, and my heart seems to grow bigger and bigger to accommodate.
I cry easily because God made all of this possible. The births, the love, the sad goodbyes. It's easy to look the other way, spirituality-wise, when you're just going through life without too many bumps in the road. I did that myself. It's not until you experience the highest highs and the lowest lows that you can let yourself fully feel, fully experience life, and sometimes cry- not just because you're sad, not just because you're happy, but because you now know that every day counts.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Change
Rosie went on a pony ride at the fair last week. Buddy is talking up a storm.
This is my fourth September as a stay at home mom, and it is the best and easiest yet.
2010: 2 week old Rosie and me. 2011: 1 year old Rosie and 4 months pregnant me. 2012: 2 year old Rosie, 8 month old Buddy. 2013: 3 year old Rosie, almost 20 month old Buddy.
Stop right there.
Both of my kids are toddlers now? When did that happen?
I go through the day to day routine. I change the diapers, fix breakfast, lunch and dinner, wipe boogery noses, read books, sing B-I-N-G-O one more time. And somewhere, sometime during all of that, my kids grew. Right beneath my own (hopefully not too boogery) nose.
The time, which day to day can drag at times, is slipping like sand through my fingers.
I realized when I saw a Babies 'R' Us flier- hey, we haven't shopped there in almost a year...
I realized when we gave all of our baby boy clothes to Steve's sister and all of our baby girl clothes to a good friend- hey, we're done with the baby stage. We don't need these things anymore...
Bittersweet? Yes. Empowering? Yes.
We went to a family reunion a few weekends ago, and Rosie spent the whole time running around with her cousin, who is a year older. They had a blast. There was no need for me. I was pretty much in disbelief, as I retreated to the picnic table, a drink in hand. I asked myself: "Is life starting to get a little easier?"
The answer is: Yes. Rosie, my little sidekick, is more independent than she's ever been and doesn't need me by her every step of the way anymore. Buddy, my little adventurer, is still quite content to go off and discover, and bring back to me what he finds.
It took a while, but the two of them now run around the house like crazy together, laughing and giggling. "They will be each other's best friend" everyone told me, when I got pregnant so soon after Rosie. It's true- they are. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen, the way they love each other.
Things are changing. And while it makes me a little nostalgic at times, mostly it excites me to keep going forward and seeing how life with these two little ones unfolds.
This is my fourth September as a stay at home mom, and it is the best and easiest yet.
2010: 2 week old Rosie and me. 2011: 1 year old Rosie and 4 months pregnant me. 2012: 2 year old Rosie, 8 month old Buddy. 2013: 3 year old Rosie, almost 20 month old Buddy.
Stop right there.
Both of my kids are toddlers now? When did that happen?
I go through the day to day routine. I change the diapers, fix breakfast, lunch and dinner, wipe boogery noses, read books, sing B-I-N-G-O one more time. And somewhere, sometime during all of that, my kids grew. Right beneath my own (hopefully not too boogery) nose.
The time, which day to day can drag at times, is slipping like sand through my fingers.
I realized when I saw a Babies 'R' Us flier- hey, we haven't shopped there in almost a year...
I realized when we gave all of our baby boy clothes to Steve's sister and all of our baby girl clothes to a good friend- hey, we're done with the baby stage. We don't need these things anymore...
Bittersweet? Yes. Empowering? Yes.
We went to a family reunion a few weekends ago, and Rosie spent the whole time running around with her cousin, who is a year older. They had a blast. There was no need for me. I was pretty much in disbelief, as I retreated to the picnic table, a drink in hand. I asked myself: "Is life starting to get a little easier?"
The answer is: Yes. Rosie, my little sidekick, is more independent than she's ever been and doesn't need me by her every step of the way anymore. Buddy, my little adventurer, is still quite content to go off and discover, and bring back to me what he finds.
It took a while, but the two of them now run around the house like crazy together, laughing and giggling. "They will be each other's best friend" everyone told me, when I got pregnant so soon after Rosie. It's true- they are. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen, the way they love each other.
Things are changing. And while it makes me a little nostalgic at times, mostly it excites me to keep going forward and seeing how life with these two little ones unfolds.
Friday, September 6, 2013
It's Official
It's official.
The hummingbirds are gone, the sun is rising later and setting earlier, and more and more frequently I'm spotting orange maple leaves glowing against the green grass. Our Apple Cider Yankee Candle is burning, and I'm making our first "cooler weather" meal of the season - Split Pea Soup- in the crock pot.
Summer is on its way out.
On one hand, I'm ready. No humidity, pumpkin spice coffee and corn mazes sound pretty spectacular right now. On the other hand, I would totally be up for more nights of playing croquet until dark, wine tastings on top of a hill with a four state view and more time in the sand and sun.
We have a lot of traditions this fall that I'm looking forward to. We like to go pumpkin picking, get lost in a corn maze and go on a hunt for the best cider donuts around. This year we plan to also do some apple picking and finally see the Fall Foliage Parade. The little things at home that will make it seem like fall are burning our fall Yankee Candle scents (we stock up on them during deals after Christmas), doing puzzles, and making leaf piles and doing fall crafts.
What's not to love?
I guess I am ready, after all.
The hummingbirds are gone, the sun is rising later and setting earlier, and more and more frequently I'm spotting orange maple leaves glowing against the green grass. Our Apple Cider Yankee Candle is burning, and I'm making our first "cooler weather" meal of the season - Split Pea Soup- in the crock pot.
Summer is on its way out.
On one hand, I'm ready. No humidity, pumpkin spice coffee and corn mazes sound pretty spectacular right now. On the other hand, I would totally be up for more nights of playing croquet until dark, wine tastings on top of a hill with a four state view and more time in the sand and sun.
We have a lot of traditions this fall that I'm looking forward to. We like to go pumpkin picking, get lost in a corn maze and go on a hunt for the best cider donuts around. This year we plan to also do some apple picking and finally see the Fall Foliage Parade. The little things at home that will make it seem like fall are burning our fall Yankee Candle scents (we stock up on them during deals after Christmas), doing puzzles, and making leaf piles and doing fall crafts.
What's not to love?
I guess I am ready, after all.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Reflections a Year Later: The Active Part
I don't work out.
I did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred a few weeks last winter, and while I liked aspects of it, it just wasn't something I saw myself doing every day.
I walk the dogs as often as possible but that's not how I've maintained my weight loss.
I lost 62 lbs and have maintained it because I eat healthily and I just don't stop moving.
From the moment I'm up in the morning around 6:30am, I'm throwing in a load of laundry, letting the dogs out, showering and dressing. I do sit down at the laptop with my bagel and coffee, but after that?
If I'm sitting, it must be because I'm either driving or eating lunch.
The simple act of being constantly in motion, which is made entirely possible by the fact that I now have two toddlers who are constantly in motion, is how I stay in shape. While they eat breakfast, I'm putting last night's dishes away, taking out the trash, making grocery lists. They play and run around the house until we leave for our outing of the day. At the playground? You won't see me sitting on the bench, watching. I'm standing right by or sometimes on it (not going to lie, this is more about necessity- Buddy is a little too much of a daredevil on these play structures). At the splash park, I'm right out there with them, trying to encourage them to run through the sprinklers. I'm pushing them in the double stroller. I'm pushing them on the swings.
I don't stop moving.
I didn't always have the energy for this. Back when I used to eat unhealthily, this kind of lifestyle would have exhausted me. Now that I eat better, I have the energy to keep up with the kids all day. After dinner, my energy starts to wane, but I always have two dogs staring at me and following me around because they know it's Walk Time. So, I go. Then I come back, and Steve and I tackle the dishes and I bring in the day's laundry off the clothesline, fold it and put it away.
Around 8pm, I finally sit on the couch with Steve and relax.
What a change from when I used to spend most of my day on the couch (when the kids were babies) or in an office chair (the five years I worked at the paper). It's no wonder I gained weight like crazy.
It's not to say that actual working out wouldn't be good for me. I know it would be. But right now? I'd rather "work out" by carrying a vacuum upstairs, hanging clothes up, carrying my 26 lb son around, and chasing after both kids with a sunscreen bottle in hand. I'm thankful that the very nature of what I do every day allows me to be so active. It's made all the difference.
I did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred a few weeks last winter, and while I liked aspects of it, it just wasn't something I saw myself doing every day.
I walk the dogs as often as possible but that's not how I've maintained my weight loss.
I lost 62 lbs and have maintained it because I eat healthily and I just don't stop moving.
From the moment I'm up in the morning around 6:30am, I'm throwing in a load of laundry, letting the dogs out, showering and dressing. I do sit down at the laptop with my bagel and coffee, but after that?
If I'm sitting, it must be because I'm either driving or eating lunch.
The simple act of being constantly in motion, which is made entirely possible by the fact that I now have two toddlers who are constantly in motion, is how I stay in shape. While they eat breakfast, I'm putting last night's dishes away, taking out the trash, making grocery lists. They play and run around the house until we leave for our outing of the day. At the playground? You won't see me sitting on the bench, watching. I'm standing right by or sometimes on it (not going to lie, this is more about necessity- Buddy is a little too much of a daredevil on these play structures). At the splash park, I'm right out there with them, trying to encourage them to run through the sprinklers. I'm pushing them in the double stroller. I'm pushing them on the swings.
I don't stop moving.
I didn't always have the energy for this. Back when I used to eat unhealthily, this kind of lifestyle would have exhausted me. Now that I eat better, I have the energy to keep up with the kids all day. After dinner, my energy starts to wane, but I always have two dogs staring at me and following me around because they know it's Walk Time. So, I go. Then I come back, and Steve and I tackle the dishes and I bring in the day's laundry off the clothesline, fold it and put it away.
Around 8pm, I finally sit on the couch with Steve and relax.
What a change from when I used to spend most of my day on the couch (when the kids were babies) or in an office chair (the five years I worked at the paper). It's no wonder I gained weight like crazy.
It's not to say that actual working out wouldn't be good for me. I know it would be. But right now? I'd rather "work out" by carrying a vacuum upstairs, hanging clothes up, carrying my 26 lb son around, and chasing after both kids with a sunscreen bottle in hand. I'm thankful that the very nature of what I do every day allows me to be so active. It's made all the difference.
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