Monarch

My kids love to be outside, and I couldn't be happier.

They delight in everything I show them- ant hills, Jewel weed seed pods, blackberries. All of a sudden all the little things I learned from childhood- how you can pick clover and taste the sweetness of it, how mica on rocks glitter in the sun- are useful again, in a way they haven't been in years. There is so much to see in every foot of outdoor space, and I enjoy getting down to the kids' level to show them.

This September, after a couple years of searching milkweed after milkweed, I finally found a monarch caterpillar. My excitement fed off onto Rosie & Buddy, and they very excitedly followed me into the house. Steve drilled some holes in the top of a mason jar, and we put the caterpillar in, with plenty of milkweed.

When asked what we should name her, Rosie exclaimed: "Redda!". So, Redda it was. Rosie ran off to get Eric Carle's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", so she could read it to Redda. I guess she didn't need me to make that connection for her!

Redda was already quite big when we found her, so it was no surprise to me that in a few days, we found her hanging from the top of the mason jar in a J shape. The next night, a chrysalis formed. It was hard to believe she was in that tiny green casing.

As luck would have it, Redda hatched the one evening that month that Rosie and Buddy were spending the night at Nana & Grampa's. Steve and I let Redda free outside, and watched her test out her new wobbly legs. I took lots of pictures, and emailed them to Nana so she could show the kids.

I'm so happy that my kids delight in the outside and what nature has to offer. I can only hope that their enthusiasm for the outside continues, and that they will always find nature as healing and exciting as I do to this day.

Halfway into 30

Tomorrow marks my half birthday, meaning I'm halfway into my 30th year. I'm quite positive I never realized when my half birthday was until recently, when curiosity found me counting out the months on my fingers.

Anyways, halfway into 30, I've come to realize a few things...

1. I will never like my ankles. It doesn't seem to matter that I've lost 62 lbs, it looks like my ankles are here to stay. Guess you just can't win them all.

2. 30 years (and 15 years into coffee drinking), I finally have the patience and common sense to let my coffee from Dunkin Donuts cool long enough so I don't burn my tongue. This is a recent development. I seriously used to burn my tongue almost every time. So much more enjoyable when I don't! (For the record, I never have and still don't get coffee out very often- I'd like to think I would have learned this much faster if I was a regular).

3. It's no longer an option for me not to moisturize every day. I used to only do so in the dead of winter when I noticed a little dry skin. Now I even use... gasp...night cream. You know what, though? It works pretty well!

4. It will never feel natural to me to get out of bed when it's still pitch dark outside. It makes me feel tired even when I've gotten my 8 hours!

5. I really need to tell people how I feel about them, as often as I can. In the past week, I have told one of my bestest friends how she saves my day, every day, by texting me and making me feel not so alone in my role as a stay at home mom. I have emailed my Pastor, thanking him for his beautiful sermon on Sunday and how much it affected me. I need to reach out and tell people just how much they mean to me, how what they do matters so much, because it's that kind of thing that makes a difference in a person's day and mine.

I'm enjoying this year very much! Looking forward to seeing what else 30 has to teach me.

Ordinary

I hung the clothes up on the line. I got the kids up, got them dressed, made them breakfast. I put ingredients in the crock pot for Scalloped Potatoes. I filled up our bag with snacks and water for our trip to Target, in which we hunted down a vacuum belt. After Target (where, of course, we ended up buying more than just the vacuum belt), we went to one of our favorite playgrounds on the way home, and ran around for 40 minutes.

The list above seems pretty mundane. Domestic.

But, that day, for whatever reason, I found myself being thankful for that Ordinary Day.

I got to thinking of all the people in the world right now who would do most anything for the kind of Ordinary Day that the kids and I were experiencing. People facing difficult decisions. People facing operations on themselves or loved ones. People facing pain, hurt or loss.

Because when it comes down to it, aren't the Ordinary Days going to be the ones we look back most fondly at? Sure, we'll remember the Big Days- births, graduations, weddings. But out of all the days of our lives, the Ordinary Days will outnumber the Big Days by a wide margin.

I just have this feeling that in 10-15 years, I'd give anything to go back in time, and have nothing more pressing to do in the middle of a weekday than to push my kids on the swings and seesaw with them.

On that day, as I was doing just that, (seesawing), I saw a lady in her 80's walking her dog along the edge of the playground. She looked at us. I looked at her, and we both waved.

I hope I can be that lady, someday, walking my dog on an ordinary day, and see a young mom and her kids playing, and smile and remember. I hope I can think to myself: "You know, those ordinary days were pretty special after all."

Friday Five: Current Obsessions

My name is Kristen Estelle, I'm 30 years old, and I'm currently obsessed with:

1. Breaking Bad. We are, at long last, on Season 5. Gone are the days when we used to be able to watch 6 episodes in a row. Between busy schedules and kids, it's taken us a year to get through four seasons. Now we're on the last one. We are watching the episodes I DVR'd a year ago, haha. Anyways, amazing series. Love it, love it. Can't wait to see how it wraps up.

2. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. The second book of the Hunger Games series. Again, if time and the need for sleep weren't an issue, I'd have finished it by now, but that being said, I eagerly look forward to reading this book every night. I'm going to have to get my hands on the third book soon and I can't wait for the second movie to come out in November.

3. Greek yogurt with granola. I am really late to the game when it comes to the obsession with greek yogurt, but I can see why it exists. Took a little getting used to, but, wow. So much better than regular yogurt. Even better when you add some granola to it. It's my go-to mid-afternoon snack.

4. Twisted Old Vine Zinfandel. Okay, I'm not obsessed, I have only drank this wine twice in the past year. But the most recent time, I got hooked all over again. It has such good flavor, as the bottle notes: "...an explosion of blackberry jam, chocolate covered cherries, spicy nutmeg, and luscious ripe plum...". Hands down my favorite red besides the ones that Steve makes. The second best part? It's in the $5 wine section of the liquor store.

5. Aveeno products. I'm a believer! I've been using their Daily Moisturizer SPF 15 for years. Nothing comes close to the value and the softness it brings to my skin while still giving me UV protection. I've also started using two of their other products- skin brightening daily scrub and intensive night cream. I've been very pleased with both, and have definitely noticed a nice change in my skin. The fragrance is light and none of their products feel heavy or greasy. I love finding "forever products" that I no longer need to be on the hunt for!

What's your latest "obsession"?

Pointing to Heaven

"Let's see who this is from," I said to Rosie, as we reached the last birthday present in the pile on the blanket. By this point of the present opening, she was in full princess/fairy regalia that came from a previous gift we had already opened.

"Happy Birthday, Rosie! Love, Great Grandma and Great Grandpa in Heaven." My voice cracked. Gramp's passing was all to recent, and it didn't take much to hit that soft spot. I didn't even think Rosie had heard me because my voice had broken.

I guess she did, though, because, as solemn as could be, she pointed to the sky. To Heaven.

There wasn't a dry eye to be seen at the party.

I talk to my kids all day, every day, about everything. About the big rigs driving by, the ant hills at our feet, Great Grampa in Heaven, up in the clouds with God, looking down and smiling at us. I never know much of it actually sinks in. Apparently that one did.

My other teary eyed moment lately came from Buddy. I was carrying him, and started singing a few lines from "You are my Sunshine". All of a sudden, he wiggled around in my arms, obviously wanting to get down. I set him down, and he ran for the glider. He sat in it, and then patted the part of the seat next to him. I sat down, he crawled onto my lap, and started sucking his thumb.

Sure enough, he remembered me singing that to him, as a little baby, back when I used to swaddle him and rock him to sleep in that chair. I did it again for him, my heart overfilling with love. I was in disbelief that he remembered me rocking him to that particular song. We hadn't done that in...over a year? How do they remember?

Kids, you gotta stop it. I'm an emotional mess with these kind of things you're doing lately! On the other hand, don't. They're the moments that make me realize that every day I spend with you is, indeed, priceless.

Midnight Seesawing

I remembered the neatest thing last week.

I was at a playground with the kids (we visit as many as we can, like it's our job. Because it is). We were playing on the seesaw, and all of a sudden, instead of Rosie on the other end, I saw my grandma.

My smiling 55 year old grandma, seesawing with me at midnight.

Okay, it probably wasn't midnight. But I can tell you it was past 10pm, and pretty much anything after 10pm felt like midnight to my 12 year old self.

She was just the Coolest Grandma. Period. The End.

My grandma and grandpa were only 43 when I was born. They had my mom when they were 18, which is why then ended up being really young grandparents. My most fun childhood memories involve them. My gram watched me every weekday until I went to school, then it was overnights and school vacations at their house while my parents worked.

We went camping, bike riding, hiking, canoeing, you name it. My grandparents, being so young, had energy and were incredibly active. Because of them, I developed a love for the outdoors.

Back to midnight seesawing. It must have been a Saturday night sleepover in late spring. My sister (5 years old at the time) and grandpa had already gone to bed. Gram always let me stay up way late when I spent the night, and we were finishing up a game when one of us had the idea to take a night walk around the block. We were already in our pajamas, but we didn't care- we knew we wouldn't be running into anyone in that sleepy town at the time of night! We started our walk and ended up at the park in the center of town. We seesawed (quietly, as it was against the rules to be in the park after dusk!). I'm certain I remember us cracking up laughing though. How could we not? We were seesawing, in our pajamas, in the park late at night.

It was a blast.

I'm so glad that fun memory bubbled to the surface. I hope I can be that fun of a grandma someday. There seems to be a carefreeness about grandmahood that doesn't always come as easily with motherhood!

Friday Night Wedding

In a little over 12 hours from now, I hope to be dancing with my honey. Either to a slow classic- maybe Sinatra- or a faster classic- maybe The Isley Brother's "Shout". Pretty much any song will do.

We will be at the wedding of a good friend of mine from college. She's marrying an Irish lad, who I look forward to finally meeting. I can't wait to see her walk down the aisle in her beautiful dress, and take in the details of this wedding and reception that I know she has carefully planned.

Weddings... the only true getaway that the husband and I get since having kids! Sure, the kids do sleepovers at Steve's parents' throughout the year, but it seems to be that only when it comes to weddings, do he and I get to still travel to places we've never been- something we loved doing before kids.

We still love it. Knowing us, the first song we'll play on this road trip to New York is Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again", as is our tradition. I don't think I'll actually believe we're going to a new destination three hours away until we're on 90 West, crossing the state line. That in itself will be a small thrill because I definitely know I haven't driven that road since kids.

We're going to download a new comedy routine for the iPod, and just enjoy the ride. Check into the hotel (hopefully early if they'll let us), relax, and take the shuttle provided (yes!) to the wedding, which begins at 5:30pm. I think we'll see a few familiar faces from college, and I can't wait to (probably) get teary eyed at the service, then enjoy the party afterwards- the party celebrating the marriage of a dear friend and her husband.

Our wedding is already seeming so long ago to me! But as I went about getting ready to go to this wedding, I did my own little preparations- I cleaned both my wedding and engagement rings, something I don't do nearly as often as I should. I painted my nails and toenails, put together the jewelry I'll want to wear with my dress. I thought about my friend, what a Big Day today is for her, and how it's just the beginning of a glorious ride.

One day soon, she might be in the same shoes- mom of two kids, getting ready to go to a wedding where all she has to do is relax, enjoy and reflect on her own marriage thus far. It might be the only time she gets to go somewhere new. In these shoes or newly married- both are pretty good spots in life to be in.