Space

I needed space, a little time away. So I took it.

Thankfully I have a husband who totally respects My Need for Space that arises, and when I told him I needed it, we rearranged the afternoon as needed. I grabbed a lunch, my beach chair, book, notebook and pen and headed to the first place that came to mind- the D.A.R. state forest, which happens to be about 3 minutes from my house.

I wanted to be by the water.

As I get older, I realize what a calming effect water has on me. Doesn't seem to matter if it's a stream, a river, a lake or the ocean. They all seem to do the trick. As I write this, I hear the water lapping against the shore, and while the wind is chilly, the sun warms my face. I feel like I am slowly recharging.

Lately, as our lives have gotten busier with my obligations and Steve's obligations, I've let Me Time slide. I concentrated more on friend time, family time and couple time. That's all fine and well until I found myself in tears this morning (which is relatively unusual for me).

I felt frazzled and I felt frustrated. Upon reflection, I realized it was because I was depleted. I needed space and I needed time to refuel.

So here I am. I have about an hour left before I head back to the vacuuming, to the grocery list making, to the booger wiping, to my dear family. I think I'll crack open my book for a while. It's been a long time since I read during daylight hours.

It's been a long time since I made a conscious effort to quiet my mind.

Friday Five

This week's favorite:

1. Movie: "12 Years a Slave". Very powerful. I assure you, it will keep your attention the entire 134 minutes.

2. Book: Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier. After plowing through all three of the Divergent books, I was eager for something new. Just started this book about two women in 19th century England who form an unlikely friendship and start finding fossils together. Sound dry? It's not. Excellent read so far.

3. Recipe: Swiss Chicken Casserole. This casserole has a little bit of everything in it and never disappoints. My revisions: cut the chicken into bite size pieces, and add a bag of frozen veggies. Voila! Dinner is served.

4. Park: We found a great new park when we visited a friend in Greenfield this week. It's called the Greenfield Energy Park- what a little gem! It has a real caboose that the kids can climb around on, a stage that looks like a train station, a wooden train for the kids to play on, and little paths leading every which way. We had  a blast exploring it. Train tracks run on both sides of it, and we got to see one come through when we were leaving. It was definitely a reminder to always keep an eye out for new parks to explore! There's so much around us.

5. Realization: Working two jobs in town means I really get to know more of my neighbors. I like feeling connected!

I Used to Think

I used to think that people who worked on their yards a lot needed to get a life.

Now I know that when you own a place, you want to make it your own. You want your yard to be beautiful and functional because you spend a lot of time there. When it's yours, you take pride in it.


I used to think that mothers who complained about doing the laundry every day exaggerated.

Now I know it's what comes with the territory when you have a family of four, and all the clothes, towels, wash cloths, sheets and blankets associated with those four people.


I used to think that if you were a stay at home mom, your home should be spotless.

Now I know that a stay at home mom's most important role is taking care of, teaching, nurturing and playing with her children. Because she's doing that, she's not scrubbing every corner of every floor. She wants her kids to remember a mom who played with them, not a mom who was obsessed with cleaning the house top to bottom every day.


I used to think I knew exactly what I would do when I became a parent- what I would teach them, how I would raise them, how I would discipline them, etc.

Now I know that not a person on this earth knows how they'll parent until they're a parent themselves. For one thing, each and every child is different. What works with one of your kids may not work with the other. If you don't allow for flexibility in your parenting methods, you will drive yourself crazy. Learn who your child is and what he or she needs- your instinct will take over from there.

A Loyal Customer

Dear Buddy,

I have never met someone who gives away his love so freely.

You really, really are a Love, and you make a difference in so many people's lives.

Let's talk about your "girlfriends", for instance, at Big Y. You know, Debbie who gives you a piece of cheese at the deli? And Nancy, who rings up our groceries, and Mary, who bags our groceries?

They love you to pieces and it's easy to see why.

When Mary asked you the other day if you wanted her to walk you out to our car, you said yes, so she picked you up out of the grocery cart, and you wrapped your little arms around her neck, gave her the hugest hug, and just held on.

Everyone could see you had made Mary's day. As we walked towards the door, she announced to the other cashiers as she walked by: "Excuse me, I have to escort this loyal customer to his car."

Buddy, you didn't let your head leave her shoulder until we reached the car, and even then, you lifted your head just so that you could give her a kiss. As she handed you back to me, she told me how her son was going into the National Guard just that very next day, and how you had made her feel better.

I want to cry again just typing that.

Buddy, how did you know that she needed that love? You have this sixth sense when it comes to these things. You make me so proud to be your mama.

Never stop handing out love to everyone you meet. You are so special, my son.

Love you always,
Mama

Friday Five

Here are five truths I discovered (or rediscovered) this week:

1. Food always tastes better when you eat it outside. Even though the kids and I had spent the morning at the park yesterday, once we got home, I couldn't bear to keep us inside on such a beautiful day. So, we had our first picnic lunch outside! It was lovely. As we ate, we talked about the things we could see and hear around us- trucks in the quarry, birds, etc. It made me think: 2014 is going to be the year of the picnic for us Estelles, as long as the weather cooperates and there aren't too many pesky insects. It is true that no matter what you eat, it always tastes better when you're outside enjoying fresh air at the same time!

2. The louder music is, the better, at least when it's just me in the car. I had a few occasions this week when I was driving in the car by myself, and realized: "Oh, hey! I can turn it up a bit louder!" and "Oh, hey! I can listen to certain songs that I usually can't with the kids in tow!". Combine songs I don't get to listen to much with turning up the volume = instant mood lifter.

3. Downtown Northampton never gets old. I met a good friend of mine in downtown Hamp last night for dinner. It was a great time. We got a delicious pizza at Roberto's, and were informed that we were their first outdoor diners or 2014! We then, of course, had to get some ice cream from Herrell's (who am I kidding- I really go for the toppings- hot fudge and strawberries!). I've had dinner in Hamp often and I never get sick of it. This time of year, when the first warm days roll out, downtown Hamp is in its glory. Everyone comes out of hibernation and are just glad to walk down the road without 10 layers, scarf, hat and mittens on! We are so lucky to have such a great little city close-by.

4. This Baked Cod recipe is the BEST. I use all the ingredients listed except for green onion, and I just throw all of it on the cod and bake it for 20 minutes. Perfection.

5. You can own all the outside toys in the world, but the kids' would rather throw stones in a brook. Since we've had the insane luck of not having to buy any of the outdoor toys we own, I'm not broken hearted about the fact that the kids aren't even looking at them this year! They would much rather just walk around the house and yard, designating certain areas as "Rosie's house" and "Buddy's house" (never mind the actual play house that sits in the side yard). They also prefer throwing stones in the brook. This activity that I introduced to them last year, has not lost its appeal! I've said it before and I'll say it again- I love watching the kids make this yard their own. They're learning every nook and cranny just like I did at their age.

What's a truth you discovered or rediscovered this week?

A Little Q&A

I've been reading the local newspaper for as long as I can remember. Every Friday they have an "ID" column, where they profile an individual and ask them questions. I thought it'd be fun to give my answers here on Lines from Lithia. It brings me back to the days when friends and I would email "surveys" back and forth to one another- that was way before Facebook!

Full Name: Kristen Marie Estelle

Date and place of birth: April 3, 1983 in Northampton, MA

Address: Goshen

Job: Stay at home mom, Assistant Town Clerk of Goshen, Newsletter Editor for the Goshen COA

Who lives under the same roof as you? My husband, Steve; our children Rosemarie (Rosie) and Stephen (Buddy); our beagle, Scout and our golden retriever, Maggie.

Children: Rosie, 3.5; Buddy, 2

Education: B.A. in English and a Minor in Women's Studies from MCLA, 2005; Hampshire Regional High School, 2001.

Hobbies: Reading, blogging, family history, quarry walks, puzzles

Book you'd recommend to a friend: "The Signature of All Things" by Elizabeth Gilbert

Favorite movie/ TV show/ singer: Movie- "The Wizard of Oz"; TV Show- "Survivor", "Mad Men", "The Walking Dead", "Parenthood"' Singer/ group: The Beatles

Five things you can't live without: Family, Friends, Water, Books, Car

Last thing you purchased just for fun: A few lawn decorations

What's at the top of your bucket list? Learn how to swim

Life-changing experiences: My mom's death and my babies' births

Strangest job you ever held: Answering phones in the Classified Department. Phones make some people very brave- they can yell at you all they want or even try to hit on you because they like your voice. To this day, I do not enjoy phone calls.

Your current Facebook status: "It never fails. Roasting an entire chicken always makes me feel like little Suzy Homemaker".

A little known fact about you: I've only flown twice, and the last time was 9 years ago.

Dumbest thing you ever did: Pick up a hitchhiker. Nothing bad happened, but what was I thinking?! (I was in high school).

One trend you'd like to see return: Modesty in teen girls' clothing before Rosie reaches that age, haha.

What really sets you off: People who don't RSVP. I like to know how many people to expect. Don't worry about hurting my feelings if you can't make it!

Best advice you ever got: "You will never have enough money"- our college roommate's father told Steve and I this when he asked when we were getting married, and we told him: "When we have enough money saved up." On paper, Steve and I probably shouldn't be able to afford two kids. But here we are. We're making it work.

Favorite place to get a bite: Ashfield Lake House, Fitzwilly's, A1 Hilltown Pizza, Tom's Hot Dogs, West End Pub to name a few...

What does your ideal weekend look like? Friday night date night with Steve- outside dining with a few brews, then a walk around Hamp. Sleeping in Saturday morning, going on adventures as a family, and then having friends over for steamers & lobsters, cards and lawn games. Sleeping in again Sunday (doesn't every woman wish for more sleep?), big breakfast, more outside adventures with the family.

One thing you would change about yourself: I would find joy in indoor exercise.

Whom do you most admire? My grandfather. He's been dealt more loss than anyone should ever have to bear, yet he soldiers on, finding joy in nature, family and new fishing buddies at the local state park.

Parting shot: Only you have the power to make yourself truly happy. So make time to do what you love and enjoy, because we only have one shot at this wonder called Life.

Friday Five

I'm liking "Friday Five" because it gives me a chance to write about the little things, all in one post! It can be recipes we've tried, places we've gone or just anything on my mind. So, in no particular order, here's this week's Friday Five:

1. I'm all about getting the most out of DirecTV, because I feel like I pay way too much for it (someday I'll have to look into Roku and all of that, but I'm not sure our internet could handle it). The first thing we did to make DirecTV work for us was to get a DVR. What a life changer. We never aimlessly cruise channels anymore- now we have everything we want to watch at our fingertips. The other thing I like to do is use the search feature to find a specific movie or show I want to watch. I don't do it often...maybe twice a month or so...but this week it paid off! I've been wanting to see "Water for Elephants", and when I searched for it by title, it came up! It's on TNT or something at 1 in the morning next week- something I never would know about if I hadn't done a search for it. I have found quite a few movies this way.

2. I cleaned my engagement and wedding rings. Finally. When I used to go to the mall a lot more than I do now, I would stop into Hannoush Jewelers and have them do it (for free). I rarely find myself in a mall these days, so this DIY cleaning solution does the job. After the rings sit in the solution for 10 minutes, I lightly brush a soft toothbrush through the prongs and it removes any gunk that may have accumulated. They look as good as they did the day(s) Steve put them on my finger!

3. Kohl's is pretty brilliant with their Kohl's cash. I keep looking at my $10 Kohl's cash and thinking "Well, I HAVE to use it! It would be like throwing away $10 if I didn't!". Good move, Kohl's, good move.

4. One of the best things we ever did was have our kids close together in age. While it hasn't always been the easiest ride, and they still try to strangle one another from time to time, my kids are best buddies. They laugh and play and dance together. They console one another when they get boo-boos. They hug and kiss each other before nap time, before bed, and sometimes just to be sweet. When I give one of them anything (a book, a snack, etc) they make sure their sibling gets one as well. I love their bond and watching them together. My heart delights when I hear Rosie say: "Hey, Buddy! Want to pretend...".

5. Comfort food never gets old. That's why tonight we are having meatloaf, baked potatoes and roasted green beans. Yum! This recipe for meatloaf finally made me a meatloaf fan after all these years. It's not the most healthy recipe, I admit, but it is delicious, and I am all about "everything in moderation"!