Friday Five

Here are the things that made my week:

1. Recipe- Oregano & Garlic Chicken Marinade. I came across this marinade recipe last summer and it's my favorite, by far. It is absolutely terrific on grilled drumsticks. I start marinating the drumsticks in the morning, so they can seep in the flavor all day. Yum! I served it with cheese tortellini tossed with pesto, and roasted asparagus.

2. Book- Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaves. A very timely book for me, because as I've gotten busier, I have not done as much praying as I was doing in the winter months. Note to self: Always make time for God, and continue to be thankful for every little thing...

3. Snack- Dill Pickle Wheat Thins.  I don't buy many cracker-type snacks (except the ever present Goldfish that somehow my children have not grown sick of yet), but this caught my attention. I love most things with dill flavor. These were no exception!

4. Song- "Chantilly Lace" by The Big Bopper. What can I say? I'm a sucker for the oldies! I grew up with them and listened constantly to Hartford's Big D 103 radio station. I also happened to marry a man who grew up with that station as well, and loves the oldies as much as I do. We all go through phases when it comes to music, and right now I'm on a wicked oldies kick again. Good stuff!

5. Realization- Single parents are my heroes. No, seriously. This week has been very, very busy around here and it's just been the kids and I for 48 hours now, with two and a half more days to go (Steve has a lot of end of the year meetings, and a Warrior Dash on Saturday!). I love our munchkins, but handling every single one of their needs, from dawn 'til dusk, without another parent stepping in at the end of day? Exhaustion city. I know how single parents do it- they have to- but my hat's off to them.

Three Years Ago

Three years ago this week, I woke up knowing I should take a pregnancy test.

It seemed like a crazy notion. After all, I had just stopped pumping breast milk for Rosie. After all, it had taken almost a year and a half to get pregnant the first time.

I waited the recommended amount of time, then tiptoed back into the bathroom to take a look. There was the evidence, plain as day- a very dark line forming a cross in the little white indicator circle.

I was pregnant.

I was thrilled and a little bit terrified. It had happened so easily this time, without even trying. Just a mere nine months after giving birth, my body was yet again home to one of our children.

I wept with joy. Rosie herself had been such a blessing after months of trying, and here was another blessing already. I started to do the calculations in my head, figuring the two would be about 18 months apart.

(Not quite. Turns out I was already 8 weeks pregnant. Our kids would be about 16 months apart).

As the reality shift tried to take hold in my mind, I heard Rosie's cooing from her crib. I went up the stairs, and opened the door to find my baby girl smiling away. I took my nine month old into my arms and whispered through my tears: "You're going to be a big sister!"

Then sad thoughts filled my head... she wouldn't be the baby for very long, should we have waited, how could I love another child as much as I love her...

(None of those things turned out to be an issue, because everyone adjusts (even 16 month olds), and a mom's heart is only capable of expanding, nothing less).

Before I knew I was pregnant, I had grandiose plans on how I would tell the news to Steve this time.

Didn't happen.

Instead I called him up as soon as I brought Rosie downstairs, and through more happy yet slightly anxious tears, I blurted out the news. He was as happy as I was.

While our little Buddy was not planned, per say, we always knew we wanted more children, which is why we didn't try to prevent it after Rosie was born. God knew it was time that we added one more blessing to our family.

Of course, He was right. Buddy came exactly when he should have. And while it seemed a little crazy at the time, with how close in age they were, it has all worked out for the best. If I could do it again, differently, I wouldn't.

Friday Five

We had five beautiful, warm days in a row this week. Five. It made yesterday's raininess bearable, and maybe today's, too.

This week I tried to really take in the little moments:

1. I marveled, again, at how good that first sip of coffee tastes in the morning. If I have that cup of heaven, and a little quiet before the nonstop day beings, I am off to a good start.

2. And at the end of the day, there's nothing like slipping between silky feeling sheets and feeling sleep gently take me away.

3. Freedom is being alone in the car, music turned up, windows down, and feeling the warmth of the sun.

4. Speaking of the warmth of the sun- just taking a minute or two to sit out in it (safely, with sunscreen) while the kids play next to me with their watering cans, a bucket of water and lots of giggles? Another slice of heaven.

5. Sitting next to my husband at the bar on date night, laughing and talking in full sentences not interrupted by requests for more milk? Priceless. I love how we can get so into our conversations that the world seems to dissolve around us.

What moment(s) did you savor this week?

One of the Best Things

I think I’ve figured out one of the very best things about parenthood.

You can take what you want from the childhood you experienced,

And leave the rest.

Hanging plant as the best mom’s day gift? Taking that. Trips to Hampton Beach? Taking that. Hours upon hours of playing outside? Taking that.

Spanking? Leaving that. It’s completely contradictory. Dessert after dinner every night? Leaving that, too. I want my kids to think of dessert as something special, not a given. Not teaching my kids to swim? Leaving that. I will not pass my fear onto them.

My point is, once you’re a parent, you can pick and choose what you’ll continue and what you won’t. It’s rather empowering.

Here's an example: the kids needed crayons. I have no idea what happened to the last box I bought, but since we have a Golden Retriever with a penchant for crayons, I wasn’t too surprised. So Buddy and I went to the store, and we eyed all the Crayola products.

I wanted to buy them all.

Remember when the best thing in the world was a brand new pack of crayons, colored pencils or markers? Yeah. I still feel like an 8 year old when I look around the arts and crafts aisle.

I narrowed my gaze to the crayon selection. Choices: 8, 16, 24, 64 or 96. OK, I’m not actually sure those were the choices, I’m relying on what I remember from 23 years ago. My eyes immediately went to the box of 96.

The one I never had.

I wanted to get it but I hesitated. Why was it that my parents didn’t get it for me? Is it unnecessary? Is there just as much fun found in a box of 64?

Maybe, but at age 31, I wasn’t taking any chances. I needed to see inside this box of 96. I wasn't disappointed. Neon, glitter, and regular crayons of every shade imaginable were inside that box. Rosie and Buddy’s eyes nearly popped out of their eyes when they saw all of them.

If this is spoiling, so be it. Drawing and coloring improves fine motor development. I don't think you can spoil too much when it comes to that.

Picking and choosing which aspects you'll keep from your childhood:
It’s one of the very best things about raising kids.

Space

I needed space, a little time away. So I took it.

Thankfully I have a husband who totally respects My Need for Space that arises, and when I told him I needed it, we rearranged the afternoon as needed. I grabbed a lunch, my beach chair, book, notebook and pen and headed to the first place that came to mind- the D.A.R. state forest, which happens to be about 3 minutes from my house.

I wanted to be by the water.

As I get older, I realize what a calming effect water has on me. Doesn't seem to matter if it's a stream, a river, a lake or the ocean. They all seem to do the trick. As I write this, I hear the water lapping against the shore, and while the wind is chilly, the sun warms my face. I feel like I am slowly recharging.

Lately, as our lives have gotten busier with my obligations and Steve's obligations, I've let Me Time slide. I concentrated more on friend time, family time and couple time. That's all fine and well until I found myself in tears this morning (which is relatively unusual for me).

I felt frazzled and I felt frustrated. Upon reflection, I realized it was because I was depleted. I needed space and I needed time to refuel.

So here I am. I have about an hour left before I head back to the vacuuming, to the grocery list making, to the booger wiping, to my dear family. I think I'll crack open my book for a while. It's been a long time since I read during daylight hours.

It's been a long time since I made a conscious effort to quiet my mind.

Friday Five

This week's favorite:

1. Movie: "12 Years a Slave". Very powerful. I assure you, it will keep your attention the entire 134 minutes.

2. Book: Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier. After plowing through all three of the Divergent books, I was eager for something new. Just started this book about two women in 19th century England who form an unlikely friendship and start finding fossils together. Sound dry? It's not. Excellent read so far.

3. Recipe: Swiss Chicken Casserole. This casserole has a little bit of everything in it and never disappoints. My revisions: cut the chicken into bite size pieces, and add a bag of frozen veggies. Voila! Dinner is served.

4. Park: We found a great new park when we visited a friend in Greenfield this week. It's called the Greenfield Energy Park- what a little gem! It has a real caboose that the kids can climb around on, a stage that looks like a train station, a wooden train for the kids to play on, and little paths leading every which way. We had  a blast exploring it. Train tracks run on both sides of it, and we got to see one come through when we were leaving. It was definitely a reminder to always keep an eye out for new parks to explore! There's so much around us.

5. Realization: Working two jobs in town means I really get to know more of my neighbors. I like feeling connected!

I Used to Think

I used to think that people who worked on their yards a lot needed to get a life.

Now I know that when you own a place, you want to make it your own. You want your yard to be beautiful and functional because you spend a lot of time there. When it's yours, you take pride in it.


I used to think that mothers who complained about doing the laundry every day exaggerated.

Now I know it's what comes with the territory when you have a family of four, and all the clothes, towels, wash cloths, sheets and blankets associated with those four people.


I used to think that if you were a stay at home mom, your home should be spotless.

Now I know that a stay at home mom's most important role is taking care of, teaching, nurturing and playing with her children. Because she's doing that, she's not scrubbing every corner of every floor. She wants her kids to remember a mom who played with them, not a mom who was obsessed with cleaning the house top to bottom every day.


I used to think I knew exactly what I would do when I became a parent- what I would teach them, how I would raise them, how I would discipline them, etc.

Now I know that not a person on this earth knows how they'll parent until they're a parent themselves. For one thing, each and every child is different. What works with one of your kids may not work with the other. If you don't allow for flexibility in your parenting methods, you will drive yourself crazy. Learn who your child is and what he or she needs- your instinct will take over from there.

A Loyal Customer

Dear Buddy,

I have never met someone who gives away his love so freely.

You really, really are a Love, and you make a difference in so many people's lives.

Let's talk about your "girlfriends", for instance, at Big Y. You know, Debbie who gives you a piece of cheese at the deli? And Nancy, who rings up our groceries, and Mary, who bags our groceries?

They love you to pieces and it's easy to see why.

When Mary asked you the other day if you wanted her to walk you out to our car, you said yes, so she picked you up out of the grocery cart, and you wrapped your little arms around her neck, gave her the hugest hug, and just held on.

Everyone could see you had made Mary's day. As we walked towards the door, she announced to the other cashiers as she walked by: "Excuse me, I have to escort this loyal customer to his car."

Buddy, you didn't let your head leave her shoulder until we reached the car, and even then, you lifted your head just so that you could give her a kiss. As she handed you back to me, she told me how her son was going into the National Guard just that very next day, and how you had made her feel better.

I want to cry again just typing that.

Buddy, how did you know that she needed that love? You have this sixth sense when it comes to these things. You make me so proud to be your mama.

Never stop handing out love to everyone you meet. You are so special, my son.

Love you always,
Mama

Friday Five

Here are five truths I discovered (or rediscovered) this week:

1. Food always tastes better when you eat it outside. Even though the kids and I had spent the morning at the park yesterday, once we got home, I couldn't bear to keep us inside on such a beautiful day. So, we had our first picnic lunch outside! It was lovely. As we ate, we talked about the things we could see and hear around us- trucks in the quarry, birds, etc. It made me think: 2014 is going to be the year of the picnic for us Estelles, as long as the weather cooperates and there aren't too many pesky insects. It is true that no matter what you eat, it always tastes better when you're outside enjoying fresh air at the same time!

2. The louder music is, the better, at least when it's just me in the car. I had a few occasions this week when I was driving in the car by myself, and realized: "Oh, hey! I can turn it up a bit louder!" and "Oh, hey! I can listen to certain songs that I usually can't with the kids in tow!". Combine songs I don't get to listen to much with turning up the volume = instant mood lifter.

3. Downtown Northampton never gets old. I met a good friend of mine in downtown Hamp last night for dinner. It was a great time. We got a delicious pizza at Roberto's, and were informed that we were their first outdoor diners or 2014! We then, of course, had to get some ice cream from Herrell's (who am I kidding- I really go for the toppings- hot fudge and strawberries!). I've had dinner in Hamp often and I never get sick of it. This time of year, when the first warm days roll out, downtown Hamp is in its glory. Everyone comes out of hibernation and are just glad to walk down the road without 10 layers, scarf, hat and mittens on! We are so lucky to have such a great little city close-by.

4. This Baked Cod recipe is the BEST. I use all the ingredients listed except for green onion, and I just throw all of it on the cod and bake it for 20 minutes. Perfection.

5. You can own all the outside toys in the world, but the kids' would rather throw stones in a brook. Since we've had the insane luck of not having to buy any of the outdoor toys we own, I'm not broken hearted about the fact that the kids aren't even looking at them this year! They would much rather just walk around the house and yard, designating certain areas as "Rosie's house" and "Buddy's house" (never mind the actual play house that sits in the side yard). They also prefer throwing stones in the brook. This activity that I introduced to them last year, has not lost its appeal! I've said it before and I'll say it again- I love watching the kids make this yard their own. They're learning every nook and cranny just like I did at their age.

What's a truth you discovered or rediscovered this week?

A Little Q&A

I've been reading the local newspaper for as long as I can remember. Every Friday they have an "ID" column, where they profile an individual and ask them questions. I thought it'd be fun to give my answers here on Lines from Lithia. It brings me back to the days when friends and I would email "surveys" back and forth to one another- that was way before Facebook!

Full Name: Kristen Marie Estelle

Date and place of birth: April 3, 1983 in Northampton, MA

Address: Goshen

Job: Stay at home mom, Assistant Town Clerk of Goshen, Newsletter Editor for the Goshen COA

Who lives under the same roof as you? My husband, Steve; our children Rosemarie (Rosie) and Stephen (Buddy); our beagle, Scout and our golden retriever, Maggie.

Children: Rosie, 3.5; Buddy, 2

Education: B.A. in English and a Minor in Women's Studies from MCLA, 2005; Hampshire Regional High School, 2001.

Hobbies: Reading, blogging, family history, quarry walks, puzzles

Book you'd recommend to a friend: "The Signature of All Things" by Elizabeth Gilbert

Favorite movie/ TV show/ singer: Movie- "The Wizard of Oz"; TV Show- "Survivor", "Mad Men", "The Walking Dead", "Parenthood"' Singer/ group: The Beatles

Five things you can't live without: Family, Friends, Water, Books, Car

Last thing you purchased just for fun: A few lawn decorations

What's at the top of your bucket list? Learn how to swim

Life-changing experiences: My mom's death and my babies' births

Strangest job you ever held: Answering phones in the Classified Department. Phones make some people very brave- they can yell at you all they want or even try to hit on you because they like your voice. To this day, I do not enjoy phone calls.

Your current Facebook status: "It never fails. Roasting an entire chicken always makes me feel like little Suzy Homemaker".

A little known fact about you: I've only flown twice, and the last time was 9 years ago.

Dumbest thing you ever did: Pick up a hitchhiker. Nothing bad happened, but what was I thinking?! (I was in high school).

One trend you'd like to see return: Modesty in teen girls' clothing before Rosie reaches that age, haha.

What really sets you off: People who don't RSVP. I like to know how many people to expect. Don't worry about hurting my feelings if you can't make it!

Best advice you ever got: "You will never have enough money"- our college roommate's father told Steve and I this when he asked when we were getting married, and we told him: "When we have enough money saved up." On paper, Steve and I probably shouldn't be able to afford two kids. But here we are. We're making it work.

Favorite place to get a bite: Ashfield Lake House, Fitzwilly's, A1 Hilltown Pizza, Tom's Hot Dogs, West End Pub to name a few...

What does your ideal weekend look like? Friday night date night with Steve- outside dining with a few brews, then a walk around Hamp. Sleeping in Saturday morning, going on adventures as a family, and then having friends over for steamers & lobsters, cards and lawn games. Sleeping in again Sunday (doesn't every woman wish for more sleep?), big breakfast, more outside adventures with the family.

One thing you would change about yourself: I would find joy in indoor exercise.

Whom do you most admire? My grandfather. He's been dealt more loss than anyone should ever have to bear, yet he soldiers on, finding joy in nature, family and new fishing buddies at the local state park.

Parting shot: Only you have the power to make yourself truly happy. So make time to do what you love and enjoy, because we only have one shot at this wonder called Life.

Friday Five

I'm liking "Friday Five" because it gives me a chance to write about the little things, all in one post! It can be recipes we've tried, places we've gone or just anything on my mind. So, in no particular order, here's this week's Friday Five:

1. I'm all about getting the most out of DirecTV, because I feel like I pay way too much for it (someday I'll have to look into Roku and all of that, but I'm not sure our internet could handle it). The first thing we did to make DirecTV work for us was to get a DVR. What a life changer. We never aimlessly cruise channels anymore- now we have everything we want to watch at our fingertips. The other thing I like to do is use the search feature to find a specific movie or show I want to watch. I don't do it often...maybe twice a month or so...but this week it paid off! I've been wanting to see "Water for Elephants", and when I searched for it by title, it came up! It's on TNT or something at 1 in the morning next week- something I never would know about if I hadn't done a search for it. I have found quite a few movies this way.

2. I cleaned my engagement and wedding rings. Finally. When I used to go to the mall a lot more than I do now, I would stop into Hannoush Jewelers and have them do it (for free). I rarely find myself in a mall these days, so this DIY cleaning solution does the job. After the rings sit in the solution for 10 minutes, I lightly brush a soft toothbrush through the prongs and it removes any gunk that may have accumulated. They look as good as they did the day(s) Steve put them on my finger!

3. Kohl's is pretty brilliant with their Kohl's cash. I keep looking at my $10 Kohl's cash and thinking "Well, I HAVE to use it! It would be like throwing away $10 if I didn't!". Good move, Kohl's, good move.

4. One of the best things we ever did was have our kids close together in age. While it hasn't always been the easiest ride, and they still try to strangle one another from time to time, my kids are best buddies. They laugh and play and dance together. They console one another when they get boo-boos. They hug and kiss each other before nap time, before bed, and sometimes just to be sweet. When I give one of them anything (a book, a snack, etc) they make sure their sibling gets one as well. I love their bond and watching them together. My heart delights when I hear Rosie say: "Hey, Buddy! Want to pretend...".

5. Comfort food never gets old. That's why tonight we are having meatloaf, baked potatoes and roasted green beans. Yum! This recipe for meatloaf finally made me a meatloaf fan after all these years. It's not the most healthy recipe, I admit, but it is delicious, and I am all about "everything in moderation"!