Alopecia Areata: My Story

It was a year ago yesterday that the four of us were shopping at BJ's, and Steve uttered the words I'll never forget:

"Babe, I don't want you to freak out...but I can see a bald spot on the back of your head."

My mind raced. A bald spot? I knew I had lost a lot of hair, especially with having the babies almost back to back in less than a year and a half, but, a bald spot? He took a picture with my phone. Sure enough, there it was- a small, round spot of my scalp, completely devoid of hair. It was on the top of the back of my head.

I tried not to freak out. I tried not to self diagnose, but of course, I googled it and I came up with the resounding answer of Alopecia Areata. I had never heard of it. It was an autoimmune disease, characterized by loss of hair on the scalp in quarter-size spots. In horror, I read further to discover that in 1-2% of all cases, the person loses hair on every inch of their body.

I closed my laptop and made an appointment with my primary care doctor. She also assumed it to be alopecia areata, and she referred me to a dermatologist who confirmed it. I sat there, in shock. What had caused it? Would I lose more hair?

The doctor told me that, unfortunately, there were no easy answers. Stress was thought to be a probable cause (at which point I thought- stress? But I'm finally coming out of the newborn stage- I'm feeling better than ever!). I asked him if I would lose more hair, and he said that was the finicky thing about alopecia. I might never lose any hair again, or, if I was a rare case, I could lose it all. What he was able to do was give me some cortisone shots in the spot, to promote hair growth.

I left the office feeling very self conscious. I felt like my spot was out for everyone to see. I have very thin hair, and when a breeze came, I could feel where my bald spot was. I was hanging on until Steve quietly broke the news to me that he could see another, larger spot, near the center of the back of my head.

It was at this point that I started to freak out a little. I went back to the doctor, and he gave me a cortisone shot for that area. I had days of worrying that I would lose all my hair. Then I would feel guilty, because alopecia, as scary as it is in the ways that it's so unpredictable, is not fatal. I was healthy. There were no other symptoms. I felt guilty for feeling badly about my condition- which was purely vanity- based. Pretty much, in the early months of last year, I was an emotional mess. I told my family and a few close friends, because I figured if they saw me start to wear bandanas, hats, etc they would probably wonder why. I never wear anything on my head.

I am very, very happy to report that a little over a year later, the hair in both of my spots has totally regrown, probably thanks to the treatments given by my dermatologist. I am not so naïve to think that this condition won't come back to haunt me. It totally could. I tell you my story because a little over a year ago, I assumed any woman who had lost her hair and was wearing a bandana had gone through chemo. Not true. There is a condition called alopecia areata, and while, to an outsider it is solely about vanity, your hair can be pretty key to your self esteem. It's not until you start to lose it that you realize how much it makes up part of your identity.