The Planting of the Flowers

Many families do fun and exciting things on Memorial Day weekend.

When I was growing up, we planted flowers at relatives' graves.

I really thought this was the strangest thing. I didn't know anyone else who did it, and I felt like a freak anytime someone asked me: "So, what did you do?" Truth is, we did also go on a picnic that weekend, but it always felt like the main activity was the planting of the flowers.

We drove as far as Bennington, VT and as close by as the cemetery in our hometown of Goshen. We stopped at four cemeteries total, and planted flowers at numerous graves. As I got older, I weaved between being embarrassed that was how we spent our weekend, to being a little bit curious.

Cemeteries are very interesting. They hold a lot of history and information. It may have been because of our visits to the cemeteries, and looking at the names and dates of the people on the headstones, that I started to become interested in family history.

By the time I was a teenager, I knew we were planting flowers to commemorate our loved ones, literally memorializing them on Memorial Day weekend. I began to see it as something I would do with my own family someday.

This year is the eighth year that I have planted flowers at the graves of our loved ones. This year I did it by myself for the first time because Nana had taken the kids for the day and Steve had to get a few other things done. It was therapeutic. I sat by my grandmother's grave, planting beautiful flowers at her headstone. I included a lot of purple ones as that was her favorite color. I talked to her about the kids, and how much she'd get a kick out of them. Then I told her I realized she already was smiling down at them because I know she looks over us.

I save my Mom's grave for last. She gets all the flowers that are left, and every year it seems like I magically have more than enough, because I love to fill the entire area in front of her stone with as many flowers as I can fit. Every year that I visit her grave, my heart bursts at the seams even more, because I am one more year into Motherhood and I can fully feel and understand the undying love, sacrifices and patience that much more.

I have every intention of involving the kids in this yearly tradition and explaining to them why we do it. I will tell them stories about their grandma and their great grandmothers, and show them it is important to take a few hours to stop and remember our loved ones who have gone before us, even if it seems the rest of the world is off doing fun things while we do it.

We'll do those fun things, too, but this is important.