What no one tells you about labor/ the delivery room is that:
- laboring in water is so much better than laboring out of water. I was blessed to have a hospital that had Jacuzzi jet bathtubs in every delivery room. With my second labor, I sat in there for hours, and the whirr of the jets helped me through my breathing and contractions. As soon as I got out, the pain increased ten fold. I would actually consider a water birth if I were to do it again.
- your nurse may have all sorts of ideas on how to help you with your labor. You may want to hug her or smack her. Mine told me I should bounce on the exercise ball and let Steve massage my shoulders. I laughed at her even though I knew she was just trying to help. Every woman labors differently, and you don't know your style until you're doing it. I liked to sit as still as possible, with no one talking to me or touching me in any way. I just wanted to breathe through it with as few distractions as possible. Both times, Steve sat near me, playing games on his iPad or resting, while I labored quietly. I thought I would need more from him- turns out I just needed his presence.
- it really is so much better if you put off the epidural for as long as possible (or go totally without- my hats off to you women!). When I got the epidural early on the first time, I couldn't feel my legs for a long time afterwards and I overall felt crummy. Second time, I waited so long, that by the time they gave me the epidural, I was ready to push. After birth, I was able to nurse, shower and eat almost immediately.
- your husband might become violently ill with a stomach bug right after you have your baby, and the nurse is not allowed to do anything for him as he is not a patient. You may have to call your in-laws in hormonal tears, asking for one of them to pick up your germy husband, and for the other one to come ride in the backseat with your newborn son on his ride home.
Most of all, what no one tells you about labor, is that birthing babies will give you a confidence you didn't know existed. Bringing life into the world is no small thing; once you've done it you pretty much feel like you can do anything. Doing it twice just doubles that confidence level. You gain an even greater appreciation for your own mom, and the women in your life who are mothers. You start doing things like speaking up more about what matters to you, and letting go of people and circumstances that bring you down instead of up. Once you've given birth, you know how fragile and precious life is. Why waste a single second pretending to be anyone but your true self?
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