Things I Don't Worry About

There are many stressors in life, and things that worry me, but having been a mom for over three years now, here are a few things I don't worry about:

1. If my kids finish their plates. This was a big one when I was growing up. I was very much expected to clean my plate. On reflection, I was eating past the point of being hungry, just to finish what was put in front of me. I have read about how this philosophy can translate to obesity in adulthood, and I have no doubt that it contributed to my weight gain in my 20's. From a young age, I was expected to eat all that someone else expected me to eat, not how much I actually wanted to eat. Habits are hard to break from how you were raised, and I used to fret over Rosie not eating enough. Not anymore. Some days one or both of them barely eat anything at a meal time, other times they eat everything and ask for more. They will eat when they're hungry, is what I've come to learn.

Rosie and Buddy get served what I've made for the rest of the family, especially at dinner. They do not get special food; I am not a short order cook. I admit, back when I used to worry about Rosie's eating, I would make her special meals just to ensure she ate. Thankfully I changed that before she was old enough to really know better. Now she knows that she can eat what's on her plate, or not eat at all. She's trying more things than she ever has before and her eating is the best it's ever been! Buddy has always been a good eater.

2. When my kids fall asleep. Rosie and Buddy are tucked in between 7 and 7:30. Some nights, they fall asleep right away. Other nights? Buddy lays in his crib, talking to his stuffed animals for a while. Rosie might actually get up and play quietly with her toys. It doesn't bother us in the least. Buddy eventually falls asleep, and Rosie finds her way back to her bed when she tires, and does the same. If either of them cries out, either Steve or I are there in a second. But if they're happy? We let them be. It works for us. They always get enough sleep.

3. If my kids are learning enough. I used to worry about this a lot, especially with Buddy, as I felt I wasn't getting enough one on one time with him. I quickly came to realize that he has something Rosie never had- a constant playmate, who is teaching him things left and right. Rosie is really good with her numbers, shapes and colors, and decent with the alphabet. Buddy still has no interest in letters and numbers, but what I have learned is, it will come with time. Anytime I think, "Am I teaching them everything they need to know?", I remember that they are getting a lot more enrichment than I did at that age, with story times, playgroups and my talking to and teaching them.

4. If Buddy wears a princess dress. I refuse to say No to my son when it comes to girly things, while at the same time saying Yes to my daughter when she wants to be a firefighter or pirate. Buddy can play with anything that Rosie plays with, and vice versa. There are a number of people who disagree with this, but I will not gender stereotype.

It's a parent's job to worry. It's what we do. We all worry about different things. All we can do is try our best to raise happy children!