Make the Time

Something I read in a magazine this week caught my eye: "'I never made time to read because life was so busy, but then I realized that life would always be busy. Now I read every day.'" (Parents, October 2013).

Have truer words ever been spoken? "...but then I realized that life would always be busy". It always will be. Life doesn't just stop. No one steps in the middle of your day and says: "OK. Go read now. Go exercise. Everything will be on hold until you get back".

You have to make the time. You have to be your biggest advocate.

I make time to walk the dogs, write in a diary and read a chapter in my book before bed. I make time to see friends, cook healthy meals and visit relatives.

What don't I make time for? Things that don't matter that much to me (painting my nails, cleaning my house with a fine-tooth comb and playing online games come to mind). A favorite quote of mine is: "If it matters to you, you will find the time. If not, you will find an excuse."

Many women seem to hold themselves back, putting themselves on a hook of "I have too much to do" and not allowing themselves to do the things that would make them happier. On the other hand, a lot of men don't seem to have this hang-up. They seem to make plenty of time for the things they enjoy (and as well they should as long as it doesn't interfere with their family or life in a negative way).

If you really, really want to go to a concert and your husband doesn't want to go, go with a friend. Even if you have kids, it doesn't mean that everything has to be done as a family or with your spouse. You need to continue growing as a person, too. You didn't just stop being You when you got married and became a mother.

You deserve time to grow. As soon as you can convince yourself of this, you'll be able to convince those near and dear, and then you can advocate for what you want and need in your life.