Pendulum

My kiddos.

My sweet, crazy, awesome, tiring kiddos. At 4.5 and 3, they're the best of buds one minute and, as it appears at times, actively trying to kill each other the next minute. We have such fun times together, the two of them and I. We play, we laugh, we learn, and yes, completely exhaust one another at times.

Every day, I have a pendulum in my heart that swings between the following:

1. I love these precious days of being home with them before they start school and get older on me. I love our after lunch reading time, with the sunlight streaming in through the windows, and their giggles and my laughter filling the living room.

2. I can't wait for the day they're both in school so I can have just a little time, just a little space to get things done. A small example? Easter is a little over a week away. I just want the flexibility to go to the store and get Easter items, By Myself. No having to sneak things into the grocery cart, which really doesn't work now that my youngest, a keen observer, has turned three. I'd just like a little uninterrupted time to work, to write, to hear myself think.

Lately this pendulum has swung more often to #2, and with winter dying a slow death and no real warmth yet in sight, I'm not surprised. We have Cabin Fever like crazy in this house. I honestly feel that until we are able to spend a lot of time outside, it's going to be this way for a while. The kids are just fed up with each other, I find myself raising my voice much more than I'd like, and we just need Winter. To. Be. Done.

I think it's pretty normal and healthy to swing between both #1 and #2. I know that even though I'm eying #2 with great favoritism, I'll be a sobbing mess come September. Oh, the irony! We'll keep on truckin' and I'll try to enjoy our after lunch reading sessions while they last.

That is, until Buddy and Rosie fight over what book to read next, and who can hold it, and who can sit on my lap. There goes that pendulum again!