Let's Be Real

"Enjoy this time," they said. "You'll never have free time like this again," they said.

I am firmly convinced that anyone who says this to an overdue pregnant woman in the midst of a very hot summer was either never in those shoes herself or has forgotten what those days were like.

Rosie's due date was August 15, 2010. At first I was just going to work as long as I could, until I had her, but after some consideration, decided that an end date was more ideal. I would leave knowing it was my last day, with all the proper goodbyes in place.

My last day was Friday, August 13th. I was certain I was going to have that baby that weekend. When you're pregnant, you can't help but have the due date play continuously in your head. I had literally not thought of a single day after the 15th.

The 15th came and went. Steve's first day of school was fast approaching and there were no labor signs in sight. How I longed to talk to my mom and ask if I or my sister had been overdue, too. How I longed for the company of my grandmothers, who could reassure me that I really was going to have a baby soon.

Instead it was just Steve and I, doing a lot of walking and all the kinds of things that are supposed to start labor. We'd sit out in our screen tent at the end of the day, him with a glass of wine, me with some boring non-adult beverage, and watch the world go by. We had everything all set for baby- there was nothing else left to do!

The doctor started talking about induction. I could pretty much pick any day in that 2nd week overdue in which to get things started. I chose the furthest in the week I could- Thursday night the 26th- with fingers crossed that labor would start before then on its own.

It didn't. I was induced, and was first given Cervadil. It threw me into immediate back labor. I went from zero to eight on the pain scale. I won't go into too much detail of my labor, but having experienced an induction and a labor that started all on its own, I can tell you that the latter is much, much more favorable.

Rosemarie Donna entered this world on Friday, August 27th, 2010 at 4:09pm. It is true that the moment your baby arrives, your world changes- in every single way for the better. Life is richer and more fulfilling than you ever thought possible.

But in those extra-long overdue days? Pregnant women are tired. Cranky. Haven't slept decently in months. Instead of doing them a disservice by telling them not to complain, that they're going to miss "all this free time" once baby comes, let's do them a favor.

Let's empathize and tell them the waiting sucks. It really does. Let's tell them that we know how painfully tedious those days are- how we understand that they just need to be done being pregnant and they just want to finally see what they've created.

Let's not idolize "life before baby", because like anything else, until you know differently, you can only appreciate your current situation to a point.

Let's be real. And then bring them a bottle of wine (or two) once baby arrives. It's a recipe for a genuine friendship.

Cozy

There's just something about a dark, rainy day when you haven't had one in a while. The boys were in Worthington at my in-laws, and it was just Rosie and I after I picked her up from preschool.

"It's a rainy day. Know what that means?" I asked her.

"POPCORN!!" she gleefully shouted. Yeah, I may have trained her on this a little over her four years. We changed into comfy clothes, popped the popcorn, and snuggled onto the couch with blankets. She picked the movie- a LeapFrog movie- and since I wanted to enjoy the moment, but most kid shows numb my brain, I also started perusing that day's paper.

It was truly relaxing.

When her movie ended, we brought over a pile of books and started reading through them, still snuggled up in our nest of blankets. We may have even had a chocolate chip cookie or two.

While some days that we're stuck inside drive me crazy, this cozy afternoon reminded me how sweet these times can be.

This Summer. Right Now.

Flox, my favorite summer flower, are beginning to bloom. Queen Anne's Lace has been in its splendor for a few weeks now and the blackberries are ripening. It's hard to deny it- we're past the middle of summer and this cool weather is reminding me of fall every day.

I'm in disbelief that we haven't broken out the air conditioners for the kids' upstairs rooms this summer, and that we have barely needed window fans, even. I thought for sure after the extreme cold last winter, that we would experience extreme summer temps as well.

Not so much. It's like Mother Nature left the thermostat on 75 instead of 90.

It's been pretty darn beautiful, in truth. Only one or two days out of the whole summer so far that were I-don't-even-want-to-move-'cause-it's-so-hot. Even though the temps haven't been high, there's still an undeniable laidback-ness that's permeated the season:

Snacks instead of a full lunch by the kiddie pool. Relaxing in front of a movie in the evening after a day outside in the sun. All of us laying out on our beach towels at the local state park. Bedtime stretching later and later because it's summer, and it's only summer for a very short while...

It's tempting to ask: where did summer go? But instead I'll just try to savor each day of it that we have left. Even the rainy days like today.

Handing it Over

I used to be a chronic worrier.

I would get so nervous before doctor and dentist appointments, before get-togethers and parties.

I would also worry about what "could" happen to Steve, to the kids, to other family members, to the house, to our cars, etc.

This summer I have really made a valiant effort to not worry quite so much. I have decided that part of my Faith has to be trusting in God completely: my worrying accomplishes nothing and does not show that I trust Him.

Ever since I put my Faith directly in God, I have felt a weight off of my shoulders. There was one time last month that I couldn't reach Steve, and the kids were with him. My mind started going down the Very Scary List of what might have happened to them and why I couldn't reach them (in those moments my brain seems unable to register the obvious- that he probably just didn't hear the phone or have reception). I then realized what I was doing, and how ridiculous it was. As corny as it may sound, at that moment, I actually envisioned myself handing my worries to God and saying aloud: "I trust you, God. They are in your hands".

I went from an 8 to a 0 on the freak-out scale. I realized how useless my worrying was, and how it couldn't change anything that had happened or was going to happen. I then proceeded to go about my morning. When the phone finally did ring, I was able to answer without sounding too much like a crazed person.

While I have made huge progress with this, I know it's going to take vigilance on my part to not lapse back into my worrywart ways. It's going to take time and effort, as does anything that's worthwhile.

Girl Day

It was one of those afternoons when just one crucial item was needed from the one store in town. I had a daughter eager to accompany me, and a husband and son ready to start grilling dinner.

I've never seen Rosie get her shoes on faster. Before I knew it, we were out the door, and she grabbed my hand excitedly: "Just me and you, mom? It's a Girl Day!". Who would not be pleased with such a proclamation?

We found what we needed at the store, and I pulled a 15 cent York peppermint patty out of its box and onto the counter. As I buckled Rosie into her car seat, I told her: "My dad used to get me a little treat once in a while when we went to the store, and now I'm giving a treat to you. What will you do someday when you have a little girl or boy?".

"I will get a treat for her. And me," she added quickly.

With a smile, I got in the car and we drove the short distance home. The peppermint patty had long disappeared and the boys were none the wiser.

I love sharing these sweet secrets with my little girl on "Girl Day".

Five Things Our Kids Say

As Rosie nears four, the things she says often leaves us in stitches- either because they're brutally honest or because she sometimes makes up her own words. Buddy is also cracking us up on a daily basis. Here are a few examples:

1. As we were walking the beach last month, I was pointing out the lifeguard stations and asking Rosie what number she thought was posted on the back of each one. After proudly proclaiming "Number Eight!", she said, "OK, come on, mom. Let's go see the next nightgown station." Of course this made me laugh, and I tried telling her it was "lifeguard" not "nightgown" but she wasn't having it!

2. We were excitedly talking about our first time going to the movie theater, all together. As Rosie talked about it, she called it the "movie 'cavator", like the word excavator, with the first syllable chopped off. Once again I could not convince her that it was actually "theater". It's funny what her little ears hear!

3. We were sharing a fried dough before the fireworks lit up the sky. Buddy got up, circled Rosie and Steve, and came over to me, where he offered me his very last bite. I was so touched. He said "Sharing, mama" with a big smile. As soon as I ate the piece, he started rubbing my head vigorously and saying "Do you like it? Do you like it, mama?". Oh my goodness. The four of us could not stop laughing. It's been an inside joke since!

4. As Buddy and I stood on the beach together, he pointed to the waves and said: "More water coming." It struck me as hilarious. Talk about the understatement of the year. Love that boy!

5. I'm now realizing a lot of funny things happened on vacation. We had just done some grocery shopping to tide us over for a few days, and it started to pour. Unlike with our Ford Focuses, I was able to squeeze into the backseat of my mother in law's car and actually close the door so I could buckle the kids into their car seats. I then contemplated, out loud, if I could get in the front seat from the back, without having to get out in the rain. This was the point that Rosie exclaimed: "But, mom! your butt is too big!" Ha-ha. I can see why a fellow blogger labeled this age as "No Filter Four".