Let's Be Real

"Enjoy this time," they said. "You'll never have free time like this again," they said.

I am firmly convinced that anyone who says this to an overdue pregnant woman in the midst of a very hot summer was either never in those shoes herself or has forgotten what those days were like.

Rosie's due date was August 15, 2010. At first I was just going to work as long as I could, until I had her, but after some consideration, decided that an end date was more ideal. I would leave knowing it was my last day, with all the proper goodbyes in place.

My last day was Friday, August 13th. I was certain I was going to have that baby that weekend. When you're pregnant, you can't help but have the due date play continuously in your head. I had literally not thought of a single day after the 15th.

The 15th came and went. Steve's first day of school was fast approaching and there were no labor signs in sight. How I longed to talk to my mom and ask if I or my sister had been overdue, too. How I longed for the company of my grandmothers, who could reassure me that I really was going to have a baby soon.

Instead it was just Steve and I, doing a lot of walking and all the kinds of things that are supposed to start labor. We'd sit out in our screen tent at the end of the day, him with a glass of wine, me with some boring non-adult beverage, and watch the world go by. We had everything all set for baby- there was nothing else left to do!

The doctor started talking about induction. I could pretty much pick any day in that 2nd week overdue in which to get things started. I chose the furthest in the week I could- Thursday night the 26th- with fingers crossed that labor would start before then on its own.

It didn't. I was induced, and was first given Cervadil. It threw me into immediate back labor. I went from zero to eight on the pain scale. I won't go into too much detail of my labor, but having experienced an induction and a labor that started all on its own, I can tell you that the latter is much, much more favorable.

Rosemarie Donna entered this world on Friday, August 27th, 2010 at 4:09pm. It is true that the moment your baby arrives, your world changes- in every single way for the better. Life is richer and more fulfilling than you ever thought possible.

But in those extra-long overdue days? Pregnant women are tired. Cranky. Haven't slept decently in months. Instead of doing them a disservice by telling them not to complain, that they're going to miss "all this free time" once baby comes, let's do them a favor.

Let's empathize and tell them the waiting sucks. It really does. Let's tell them that we know how painfully tedious those days are- how we understand that they just need to be done being pregnant and they just want to finally see what they've created.

Let's not idolize "life before baby", because like anything else, until you know differently, you can only appreciate your current situation to a point.

Let's be real. And then bring them a bottle of wine (or two) once baby arrives. It's a recipe for a genuine friendship.