The SAHM Life- The Not So Good

I'm really not feeling this mom thing today. Especially the stay at home mom thing.

It's raining for the umpteenth day in a row. I had forgotten how confined a space can feel when we don't have the outside (yard, parks, playgrounds) at our disposal.

I really want nothing more than to crawl up in the armchair with a good book and steaming cup of hot cocoa. Isn't that all anyone wants on a rainy, grey day? Have I ever done this on such a day? Why the heck didn't I do that before I had kids?

The grass is always greener.

I try to be cheerful even though the weather is getting me down. It's the day of Rosie's class field trip. The plan is to meet them at the farm. I look out the window, see the rain falling, and think how not conducive the weather is for hay rides and pumpkin picking.

Yet, I pack our things- snacks, water, extra diaper for Buddy- and get us dressed in our raincoats and boots.

As I drive to the farm we have never been to, one of the roads we come to is closed. DETOUR, the sign announces. I have to laugh. Of course, there is a winding detour today, of all days. Why am I even attempting to do this? Can someone remind me?

We make it to the farm, albeit 15 minutes late. Rosie's class greets us with excited shouts of welcome, and lo and behold, the ground is relatively dry and the sun is shining.

We have a good time. And I am reminded again of a quote that always seems to ring true on these days: "No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up." I was really glad I did. I would have felt that much worse if we hadn't gone!

Although my last blog entry was titled The SAHM Life- The Good, I couldn't bring myself to title this The SAHM Life: The Bad. Do we have bad days, the kids and I? You betcha. Some days I count the minutes until Steve gets home, until I get some relief in the form of an adult who can take responsibility and break up disputes alongside me.

But a "bad" day with the kids still beats what I used to consider a bad day at the office 5 years ago. Even on the worst of days as a stay at home mom, I know the reward in the end will pay off.

Some days I'm just not feeling the stay at home mom thing. That's okay. It doesn't mean I love my kids any less or don't think they're the best thing that ever happened to me besides Steve and chocolate (because I do).

It just means that I recognize that not every day can be a Really Good Day.