What My Best Friend Taught Me

I'm not sure where I'd be without my best friend.

We text daily and tell each other everything. We vent, we laugh. We question, we answer. We'd love to see each other in person more than we do but we both know how busy we are.

I was reminded just the other day of something very important that she taught me. Through example, my best friend taught me how to successfully empathize. Recognizing another person's feelings goes a long way.

How often do we listen to someone talk about something that's getting him or her down and we jump in with solutions and what could be done? I am guilty of this.

What I've found works a lot better (thanks, bestie!) is to actually first say the words that the other person needs to hear: "I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know how frustrated/ sad/ upset you must be."

I personally didn't even know I needed those words said to me, until she said them. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders- she was listening to me, she was hearing me...
and she seemed to feel my pain as if it were her own.

Wow.

Because I liked her approach so much, I've started using it with other people. It's gotten a good response! So easy to do, too. Now it's second nature to want to say these things to my friends.

I want them to know that I'm listening, that I care. I want them to know that I'm aware there may not be an easy fix to their solution, but that doesn't erase the fact that they are feeling helpless and stuck. Even if I can't help their problem, I can always listen. We all have that ability.

My best friend taught me how to better minister to friends and family, and for this I am grateful.