I Did This Right

I think it's only human to reflect on what you could have done better or how you could have handled a situation differently. I have a tendency to reflect on these things more than I do the things I Did Right.

I had an "Aha!" moment the other day. Rosie, over the past couple of weeks, has been willingly, and on her own accord, using the potty, and has been doing so very successfully. She's not fully trained by any means, but I'd say she's well on her way.

It's really, really hard not to compare your child to others his or her age. Most kids I know started potty training way before 3 years old. It's not to say that I didn't try to set the stage. She's had a potty chair for well over a year, heck, I even bought a DVD called "Potty Power". (Not realizing it had the most annoying songs ever, including "What Do You Like to Do When You're Sitting on the Potty?").

I asked her, day in and day out, if she wanted to use the potty. "No" was almost always the answer. I could tell she was afraid of the regular toilet, and she thought her potty chair was "too cold". (Of course anyone who's been around a toddler knows that anything not desirable might be described as "too hot/ cold/ tired" etc). I worried. When was she ever going to potty train? As she got older, and Preschool loomed before us, I got anxious.

I should have known that the answer lay within the parenting mentality that I've been using for almost three years now- I needed to just let her tell me when she was ready. And that's exactly what she did. All of a sudden, she decided she was ready, and she started to do it. It was, exactly as other parents had described, as if a switch had been flicked on in her head.

It made me realize, this is my parenting style- I don't push my kids into doing things before they are ready. They will let me know. So many things come to mind. I worried about how we were ever going to stop Rosie's finger sucking that she did when she was nervous or tired. She dropped it herself at 2.5 without any cajoling from us. I worried that because Buddy didn't like to read books with me, that he was going to not talk as much. Now he talks up a storm, and demonstrates daily that he thinks in different ways than Rosie does.

When you just let kids do things on their own time, there's a lot less crying and frustration all around. There are definitely exceptions to this rule, but in general, I like that we operate in this fashion. My daughter is using the potty, no problem, because I'm not forcing her to. Buddy is coming around to books because he wants to, not because I'm making him.

I have many moments where I question or second guess aspects of my parenting, but today I feel like I'm Doing this Right.