Empower Your Partner

Us mothers, we just try to do too much.

We read the books before baby arrives. We make a baby registry. We hear stories far and wide from other mothers about their deliveries. Then, baby arrives. Maybe, just maybe, we try to control everything surrounding baby- when he or she has the first bath, how it's done, because, you see, we've read the book.

Quickly we might find ourselves in a pattern of doing most everything when it comes to the baby, and when it comes to our partner trying to help, we tell them how to do it. This might be welcomed or resented on their part.

Before you know it, one or the both of you might be saying "Well, you're really better at this" and certain aspects of parenting fall solely on one of you. Before you can blink an eye, your kid is showing a preference for one of you at certain times- bedtime or bath time for instance- and you and your partner might just look at each other, shrug, and go along with it.

Don't do it, mamas.

I thought because our baby didn't see her dad all day, she'd prefer him, Nope, she still wanted me. For everything. It's easy to give in because it will cause less tears and less stress for everyone.

Don't do it.

There was no reason that Dad couldn't give her a bath or put her to bed. I will say that it was Rosie who had the preferences- Buddy didn't and I wonder if it's because we had a different mindset with him from the start. I told Rosie that Dad could do it just as well, and after a few tears, you know what? She was fine and having a great time with her Dad who she hadn't seen all day.

Empower your partner.

There is nothing I do that Steve can't do as well for our kids. Neither one of us is "the only one" who can do bedtime, baths or meals. On the occasion that I'm away- maybe just a dinner out with a friend- I have no worries about Steve being able to handle the kids. He is a terrific father and knows all the ins and outs of our kids as well as I do.

Moms, I plead with you- don't try to do it all. Is it nice to be wanted by your children? Yes, of course. But they need to see that you have confidence in their father to do things just as well as you do. Teach them gender equality from the beginning. So what if your husband doesn't do everything the way you do? It's good for your children to experience different parenting styles. It's good to let go and not try to control every situation. If you need things a very certain way, know that your children may see that and insist upon the same.

Moms, go a little easier on yourselves. You don't have to do it all. None of us can. Empower your partner to join you on this journey called Parenthood.