Loss

The thing about Facebook is that you may be friends with a lot of people, but some of them, if they don't ever post, you kind of forget they're there. That is, until their birthday reminder pops up on the right of your screen. A few weeks ago, I saw that it was Denise's birthday, a woman both Steve and I worked with when we were on the maintenance crew at MCLA. I wrote her a birthday wish, thought to myself what a good person she was, and off I went with my day.

That evening, my sister was ready to babysit the kids, and I was getting ready to go out on our monthly date night. I called out to Steve and he didn't answer. I found him in front of his iPad, mouth open in shock. "Denise died" was all he could mutter. My heart sank to my stomach as we both looked at her Facebook page in disbelief. People had written things like "Miss you every day, Denise", "Thinking of you on your special day. Miss you lots".

It finally sunk in. Denise had passed. Months ago- in June. And we learned through Facebook, of all things.

It's not that we were close but we had kept in touch all these years through Christmas cards and the occasional email. We knew she had a bout with cancer, but last we knew she was doing better. We live 45 minutes away from her in a different county, so we didn't see her obituary. We didn't know her husband or family, so they had no reason to call us. It was a very strange way to find out bad news.

I've really been trying to pay attention to my gut lately (because I now think that's God speaking), and my gut told me to write a letter to Denise's family. It didn't matter that I had never met them, I needed to write them.

I finally wrote that letter last week. In it I conveyed our connection to her and what we remembered her being (a hard worker, always smiling, hearty laugh and just a good, good person). I also made it a point to mention to them that she always talked and bragged about her family: even though we were only in touch occasionally, it was evident her family meant the world to her. I needed to let them know that she loved them deeply (I'm sure they already know, but it never hurts to hear it again) and that her Faith was strong. In particular, her last letter gave so much praise to God. I had thought about it often over the past year.

I'm sure that they might be a little taken aback by this letter, as it's so many months after the fact, but I also hope it might help their healing process. I know that I never tire of hearing people's stories of my mom. My prayers are with them this month, as I know how hard the holidays are after losing someone.

We lost some good people this year.